First wave of nervousness. . .

I’ll be heading out of town for some pretest and a pre op class the second week of October for my surgery. I am still very excited about it and yes, still trying not to think of death. *eek* I know personally that I’m not going to know. . . unless it is after the fact, but I worry about what will happen with my family.

I don’t think it is being self-centered or ego boosting to say this, but I am part of the backbone to my family. My mom, sisters, nieces and my kids need me here. I’m a great sounding board and I worry for them, what will happen if the worst happens.

People ask others. . .are you afraid of death? Death - no. Leaving the ones behind is what fears me. I know if the worst happens, they will get by, but I would not wish that on anyone. I’m sure this topic will plague me as time draws closer to the day of surgery. I wish it wouldn’t. . .but that is life, and I am only human.

*kiss the ones you love and say your sorry to the ones your battling - Tomorrow is a second closer. . . *