This is what has happened. . .

I had my surgery on the 24th of October and I'm doing well. I am still in the hospital working on recovery. I graduated from 2 days of ice chips, to grape juice this morning and maybe something else tomorrow. The surgeon says probably tomorrow I can go home, later in the afternoon. I look forward to it.

Getting out and into bed is the hardest thing. It hurts a lot. I am concerned about getting in and out of my bed at home. I have no guard rails like they do at the hospital. I may also move into my living room and sleep in an upright position, since normally I am a belly sleeper.

I showered this morning, with hubby's help. He's been very supportive and I can't thank him enough. :)* I know you that read this blog as well as the support thread on lit and are keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I do appreciate that very much and ask that you keep doing so.

I walk around the unit, to help avoid blood clots. Hubby walks with me, but right now he had to go get himself some lunch. . . something besides grape juice.

I was told to have one final meal. . .the words were actually "last meal" but they both sound like you're about to face a firing squad! I had pizza this morning for breakfast and my first soda in a month. I love Mt. Dew, but we only had them in 24 oz. bottles, and that to me was cheating on the plan, because that would have lasted me all day. *wink* . . .

So I opted to go for a nice cold can of Coke. *grin* It was good. Now for the rest of the day, it is water, puddings, jell-o, popsicles. . .and then broths and those type of things. Just liquids. After midnight. . .nothing!

Surgery is at 10:00am tomorrow morning. So I do hope y'all eat something tasty in my honor. :-D . . . or drink a soda for me. ;-) *kiss and hugs*

~ Red

5, 4, 3. . .

I can't decide. . . Today is the 20th and of course my surgery is the 24th. Now is that five days, counting today and the day of surgery? Or 4 days not counting today? Or - better yet. . . 3 days not counting today or the day of surgery? *big grin and happy dance*

Yes, I am excited. I am ready . I am invincible. . .(sorry had a burst into song moment there. *wink* )

I rarely pack my suitcase before a trip, I'm one of those last minute folks. I will be packing soon though, probably today if not tomorrow, because I am so anxious. I look forward to this move in my life.

Research says the first 100 pounds comes off fast. *yippee* I plan on exercising before that, but I really know it will be easier once that first 100 is gone! *grin*

One week. . .

It is officially one week from my surgery date. I am so ready. My support thread is here; to post on it you'll have to become a member of Lit. remember though you can comment here on the blog. :-)

As I was saying. . .one week to go. You may wonder what is Red doing these final days of endulgance. ;-) I am doing that. I'm not overeating, but I am choosing things I normally wouldn't just eat all the time. Last week, I said goodbye to Peanut Buster Parfaits, Pumpkin Pie, Pecan Pie, Pizza Hut, KFC, and McDonald's. The kids have loved it! LOL - I told them to enjoy, because not only will my life be changing, but theirs will be too.

NO! That doesn't mean I'm going to police them and make them eat what I eat. Heck the first month I'm on a liquid and "baby food texture" diet! It just means, we won't be eating out as often and when we do it won't be fast food. It will be a nice sit down place, like Applebee's, Red Lobster, ohhhh yum. ;-) but again, these places are places I can't go into for almost 3 months and even then I'll fill up quickly! Gonna save some money!!

For folks not familiar with this surgery... I'll go from a stomach the size of a football (generalization here for visual effects) to one the size of golf ball! My new stomach, or pouch, will hold approximately 2 ounces, over the course of the year and as long as I follow all the nutritional guidelines, (which I will) my stomach should expand to hold 7 to 10 ounces. Yep, less than a can of soda!

This won't be easy and for those that think I'm taking the easy way out. . .oh you are soooo wrong. If you knew all the new rules I will have to live with, and not just for a short time, but for life, you'd not say that.

I look forward to returning to places where my family and I have traveled in the past and walking the trails and hiking to the waterfalls, where my spouse hiked, but I didn't, because I knew I couldn't make it. I did make it to the waterfalls on our last vacation, because I didn't want my kids to miss out on mom enjoying their vacation with her. In the back of my mind I knew this could be the last I had with them. God, it was a great vacation. No matter what happens next week, they have that memory. :-)

Think of me this week - Please. :-)

A couple of poems that fit my mood. . .

Oh my god, I can not breathe
as you sit and toy with me.
My heart is locked within my chest.
My fingers numb; my mind can’t rest.
I stare in wonder and wait for time
to heal my wounds and stop this crime.
This time was mine and yours to play.
Then someone came and pulled you away.
I can not see through the tears I shed
as I see another with you is led
down the path of sweet release,
the one I thought was mine to feast.

****

I am such a joke.
Others point and laugh as the
words I pen are nothing but
a quick way to get another off.
Meaning nothing to some.
Everything to me.
A little to another.
In the end though,
they are nothing.
Just flat, black words
on a screen that makes
my head hurt.

******

My heart is finished.
I’m no longer here.
I’m just going to write and say hello.
Lean on a shoulder or two.
But I’m done loving,
I’m done caring.
I’m simply done.

How hollow that feeling is,
the one where you just look back
and see forever staring you in the face,
mocking you.
Foolish girl.
Idiot.
Heart on your sleeve wearing you out.
A backbone made of Jell-O.
Too nice to open your mouth and proclaim
how stung you are.
But willing to sit back and let it happen over
and over and over again.
Boy, Red you’re a piece of work.
Idiot, empty, hollow, foolish girl.

Like I don't have enough to do. . .

I was told I should look into this. . . National Novel Writing Month. Click it and you can roll your eyes at me later!

Yeap. . .50,000 words in a month! *grins* If I don't do it then okay, that's life. But you know I'm going to try! I have so many ideas, sometimes though I admit they are hard to form into words.

The Chain Story about Laresa the Genie is like that. I thought of this great chain, wrote chapter one and then my mind went blank. Eventually, I did come up with my next addition to the chain, which will be Ch. 9 when it comes out. But I had to consult with other writers on the chain to help me get it into focus. Here's a link to the page where you can scroll down and find the chapters for Laresa's World. As you can see, chapters are written by different writers and these are some excellent folks!

The surgery date is slowly creeping up. . . I do have my preop testing and preop class on Monday and Tuesday. I have cold, damn it! I want to be healthy when I take that freakin' breathing test, so I can pass it. LOL. :D

Live your day today with an extra skip, oh and if you see a pretty flower, sniff it after you check for BEES!