Some Answers . . .

I know a little more about Becky's death. On Thursday, August 24, she gave birth to little Owen. He was 7 lbs. It was a vaginal birth and there was some tearing as she delivered, but they stitched that and all was well. She and the baby went home Saturday morning.

Saturday during the day she fainted a couple of times and got sick. She went back to the hospital Sunday when these things persisted.

There they ran blood test and determined she had an infection, but by then her white blood cells were very low and they decided to send her to their sister hospital, a much larger one, an hour away. By now it was Monday morning.

They got her there and observed her condition, determined sometime during the day to have surgery on the tear and cleanse it, restitch, see if this was what was causing the infection. She went into surgery and was told by her Future brother-in-law, a doctor, that the surgery was easy, 19 minutes and she'd be fine. She wanted a coke when she was out. He said sure.

Since they were family of one of the doctors and one of the nurses at the hospital, they were all shown into a private waiting room. Where they waited calmly, but apprehensively I'm sure. . .we all are when someone we love is having surgery, even routine.

After the surgery concluded the anestegeologist reported complications. He couldn't rouse Becky and then they scrambled I'm sure. In the end though we now the worst happened and she was lost to Craig and baby Owen, and all of us.

The final autopsy report won't be available for a couple of weeks, but what they were able to determine was the "infection" was there, but they don't believe it came from the stitches that were used to repair the tear that occured during the birth. During surgery the fluids used. . .(saline) collected in her brain, pooling there and pressing against the brain stem. They don't know why this happened, there is no explanation for it. They don't know what this infection was yet, and they may never know. . . it all comes down to the autopsy report.

Becky's funeral is Friday. It is going to be so hard and so sad for everyone. Please keep "Red's" family in your thoughts, prayers, or light a candle for us. *hug and kiss your loved ones*


~ ~ ~ Red. *kiss*

Frustrated Feelings

Frustrated Feelings
RedHairedandFriendly

Author’s Note: I met her at weddings and family affairs, not at weekend card games or shopping sprees, but Becky C. was a part of my family and her shocking and unexpected death still hurts. For Becky, her surviving husband and newborn son, I leave these words. A paltry thing to offer, but all I can give. ~ Red

Daisy chains and kisses lay littered on the ground.
Tiny fingers grip the hands of a man wearing a frown.
Hearts lie broken on a sea of glass.
Teardrops fall; silent sobs pass.

Eyes lift, up to the sky.
Whispers are spoken, from lips asking why.
Dreams were made, now they lie scattered about.
While two hands try to figure it out.

He holds his head, against clenched fists,
and trembles and shakes not wanting this.
She stares down, her heart healed and complete,
from a hurt no one saw; no one could defeat.

No pain does she suffer, only joy does she see.
Though she knows her love hurts, this is what must be.
There was no survey or questionnaire to fill-in.
It was her time and now they must mend.

She’ll be there, watching with love,
as tiny fingers and toes, grow into someone
whose full of spirit, fight, and romance.
And one day they’ll all meet and once again dance.

~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ ~

This morning I woke up and I was in a good mood, for about two hours. In the ring of the phone all that changed. My Mother-in-law called and she was crying. Becky, my husband's cousin's wife, passed away sometime during the early morning hours, or very late last night. I do not know all the details. The poem above I wrote for her husband, new baby and her. *sigh*

Becky was 26. A new mom. I didn't "know" her well, but I knew her enough from the brief encounters at weddings, family get togethers, and through the grape vine of relatives that we do see on a regular basis. She was a beautiful woman, with a kind heart from what I remember and from what I know others believe.

The pain is real for me, a different level of pain than what I would experience if it were my cousin or his wife that we do see often. . .but the pain is real. I can not imagine what Craig is going through, or Becky's parents. To have this wonderful gift of a newborn and then less than a week lose his mother, without even there being a warning.

Is it softer on your heart if you have a warning? If you have time to prepare? I don't know. Sometimes you wonder. . .dwell or be shocked. . .where is the happy medium of death. . .is there one? I don't think so.

My husband and I will attend the funeral and I do hope to have answers to her death. I don't need them, no. . . but I too wonder what struck this woman down in the prime of her life, the highlight of her youth?

So again. . . I ask you as I have in other posts off and on in this blog. . . love your family. . .your friends. . .your aquaintances. . . because one phone call is all that keeps your world from tilting on its side and the contents spilling out. *kiss*

Home. . .

I was home yesterday, but very tired. I chatted with a few folks, but not for long.

Surgery went well, but the time in recovery took much longer. About 3 hours. I was so tired and in so much pain. They only drained and cut the cyst away. They were able to leave the ovary and the fallopian tube, so I am very glad of that. :-)

I know folks have been thinking of me, praying for me, lighting candles too, and I so appreciate that, so very much.

Right now I am taking Vicatin (spelling) every 4 hours and percocet only at bedtime. It lasts longer, so I use it for sleeping. Between the doses of Vicatin I get about an hour or so of conscious time. lol. . .before I am loopy, or woozy feeling.

I have some new stories out that posted over on Lit. so fill free to check them out if you wish.

*hugs to you all and kisses too*

LIfe

Ahhh. . . Red's reflective? Nah. . . just felt like using that as a title of this entry.

My Insurance just called and they approved me for Gastric Bypass Surgery. It'll happen sometime in the late fall or early winter. I don't have the details yet, but I will and when I do I will put them here.

There is a lot of people having this type of Surgery, I'm just another number to the statistics. I am doing it so I can get back the years I've lost by gaining weight. See I learned at my last consultation that for every one hundred pounds you gain, you lose 20 years. I want my years back. I deserve them and so do my kids.

The surgery for the cyst and the fallopian tube is still on for Wednesday. I am thrilled to announce my husband was able to get the day off and will be with me, well, in the hospital with me during surgery.

I look back and see so many things in my life I would change if I could, but if it meant changing who I am, or changing the path that led me to my husband and my kids, then I would live the same life over and over again.

~ Hugs to you and hug the ones you love. . . ~

Red

Catching you up on my sorry state of existance. ;-)

Wow. . . August is almost over. Can you believe it? I can't and I really don't want to. With August comes back to school and then comes shopping. Now, I do enjoy shopping, but not like some women do and I have heard some men enjoy it too. ;-)

I have 3 kids, 2 girls and a wild and crazy boy. My girls are 12, and 11, my son is 7. There is a big difference in shopping with kids. The eldest, she's about 5'7" and doesn't look 12, (funny many 12 year-olds don't look 12. . .but 20!) - - my daughter is no exception. We shop in the women's clothing for her and thank goodness she is conservative and is in no hurry to show off her attributes! (May I say . . . it is wrong for any child of mine to have attributes . . . grrrr)

Shopping with her is a mental chore. It is a tug-of-war with patience. She hates shopping. She hates trying clothes on. She loves however to spend money. . .boy can she spend it too.

The second child, will be 12 in October. She stands at 5'0". She looks almost 12. . .and not 20!!! However, she loves to shop. She's a joy to shop with, this means she takes FOREVER to shop with, because she will take her allowed spending money and visit as many shops as she can. *sigh* *yawn* *pull hair* To whoever marries this gal, when she's 40 mind you, better have an endless supply of $$$$$$$$$$.

My son. . .what can you say. . .If you get him to try on a pair of pants, your lucky. That's it, one pair of pants, one shirt and one pair of shoes. Just enough stuff to determine his sizes and then he is finished. You are now required to shop for him and pick everything out. . .oh and get it right too! He's the easiest to shop for, but from what I have been told that will change.

I won't tell you how much we spent, but it was more than my hub thinks. ;-) Then again, he told me he didn't want to know how much we spent. lol. . .smart man, he probably saved himself a few more years to live.

Now. . . what of me? What is up with Good 'Ol Red?

I'm having surgery on Wednesday the 23rd of Aug. Why? A have a cyst, about 10 centimeters on my left ovary, and a "tubelar" structure, they believe is my fallopian tube that needs to be removed, because it too is swollen and that isn't normal. So. . . I go under the knife. For those that pray, please do and for those that don't, but do something to get them through scary things, please remember me and my family. *hugs*

How is my writing progressing?

Not bad at all. I finally got my first Illustrated story out! It isn't erotic, but nostalgic. If you'd like to read it, please do. It is called A Few Lamps from His Collection. I hope to hear from you too. I do enjoy comments and appreciate the feedback. I have several Illustrated poems and though I'm not the most talented poet, I do have fun.

I'm not involved in as many SRP's that I was once in, but that's cool. I know more will present themselves soon. :-D.

I hope you like the quick update on the blog and I'll post again, hopefully sooner than later. :-D